Desert Man Has a Job.

After several months of searching, I finally found a job. Just the other day I got the offer. And even with all my debt, the salary will be enough to live on. I expect to be getting another job offer shortly. A job offer in my field. But I'm forgoing it. I have my reasons.

This new job means I have to move from one desert town to another. A larger desert town. I have mixed feelings about this. What I don't have mixed feelings about is having a job. I want a job. I need a job. 

But now I have to find an apartment whose rent will not be too burdensome, while still being in a nice part of town and not being a total dump. It's a challenge these days to do anything: find a job, find a reasonably priced apartment that's not in a slum. The collapse has already happened. 

And already I find my tone going dark. I don't want to be a dark person. I want to be a light person. Not a light-skinned person. I have a good tan going from walks in the desert. Nothing against light-skinned people. I love them. 

But this apartment search is made all the more difficult by the fact that I have next to no money. My dad will be paying the first month's rent and deposit and all of that. So to a certain extent, I feel I have to satisfy his expectations. And then there's my mom. She has another set of expectations. And my brother, who lives in this new desert town to which I'll be moving. He's been pressuring me to get a place with him. I've lived with him before. It was a disaster. I am not doing that again.

So what must be done is this: I have to shut out the noise, be a man, and make the right decision for me. It's a challenge for me. I'm sensitive. I'm weak. I bow to pressure. But this must change.